Happy/Mad, Useful/Useless

When the people I love are unhappy I can try to help make thing better cause if you'r down the only way is up. But if people are happy I don't want to fuck that up for them. I'v never be every good at being happy and I want so much for people to be happy, feel loved, and be safe.

I know that I can be passionate, empathic, and informative. But those things don't make people happy and I can stop being that way. I know that the happier and emotionally stable they get the less they'll want to be around me.

I can't be around people that hate me any more ether. So I will be alone with only my mother about to tolerate because I can't live on my own. I don't know what I well do without her.

I have been trying to disappear to help the world so I would't think about killing myself. people don't really want me to die but they also don't want me here.

I don't have anything to offer the word any more. I thought I could do something good using my art but I can't really do anything but make simple things.

I am to ill to think well enough to make new kinds of art.

I can't even do easy patterns most of the time I start them but have to stop cause I can't work on them any more cause they'r to hard for me.

I even have problems with simple increasing and decreasing.

So the only thing I can really work on when I can do anything at all is scarfs people kept asking me to make them but now they don't seem to want them.

The things I make are so unwanted that I can't even give them away. I want to be useful but no one wants me.