Mixed up about Autism

One of the reasons I hadn't considered that I might have Autism, Asperger’s or ADS = autism spectrum disorder before a year or 2 ago was that I was told that autistic people have no empathy or a sense of humor and I have a lot of both. I understand why other people with ADS might feel like they are aliens.

I have always seen myself as all to human but one of the things I learn about obsessively is human history and in the way I can learn about a person that lived over 2,000 years ago as human I can see myself as one but they'r like my own idea of what is and is not normal behavior is more cultural then it being all that means to be human.

I feel out side looking at the observing different culture to my own even with in my own family because of that I see things as odd that other people don't question I see this has useful a lot of the time but it also means that I often don't know what the "right" thing to do or say is I don't like hurting people and I find just remembering times that I even might have hurt some ones feeling painful some one will tell me or I will think of it later and only then understand what hurt I might have caused. I think about these times a lot reliving the pain that I feel at the thought or their discomfort. I have a really good memory with some things I do not remember things like peoples names that makes people think I don't care about them when it is not true.

Any way back to my point I think most things with people think people ASD don't have are really just a mix up. Like a lot of things that upset other people don't upset me but I will be really upset about things other people don't understand why.

It's like when I use sarcasm people that haven't known me for a long time don't know I'm trying to be sarcastic and growing up sarcasm was a big thing in my family so some times I am sarcastic a lot. But I am very direct and honest in ways that other people aren't so most people can see it as sarcasm. Likewise I do not understand when other people are being sarcastic.

I find a lot of things funny and some times they are things other people don't understand.

I also feel empathy when other people might not vice versa.

Because I have trouble feeling apart of any one cultural or group I don't understand why it ok to hurt or mistrust people.

I think for me having more information has given me more empathy as well not being able to live up to these expectations I was told I should have for other people. Reading can also help with empathy.

I have found that other people that don't have ASD have problem understanding how it feels to not be able to do things that they find ezy to do, like read.

I think this misunderstanding really goes both ways. People with out ASD can't understand what could be funny or how some one could feel things in away they don't so we must not have them.

This is me from

October 18, 2015 at 10:24 PM

Sometime I feel not only that I'm not on the same page as other people but it's like I don't even have a book at all.