My fear of being alone goes beyond being lonely

My fear of being alone goes beyond being lonely. I have to have people I can trust that can and are willing to and want to help me. Even if I had all the money in the world, I would still need these things. Perhaps if I had more money it might make people see me as less of a parasite. I know I have “so much potential” but the vary things that give me all that potential preventing me from fulfilling it. I have to work so hard just to do everyday kinds of things. I have to much going on inside me. To much to deal with to stay alive.