What can trigger a depressive episode for me

What can trigger a depressive episode for me most often is people not caring about me. People causing me pain just cause they don't care about me. I talk to people tell them something hurts me that they can ezly change. But they keep doing it because may pain doesn't matter. I don't like seeing people in pain so I really can't understand they are ok seeing me in pain.

Then my depression starts thinking;

Why don't they care about me?

I must be a really bad person?

They'r right I shouldn't be bothering them with my pain I am so selfish.

My life is really painful in a lot of ways that I can't do anything about too.

Maybe I am the problem if so the only way it can be fixed is if I died.

They can be happy that I am not around.