Apologizing while autistic

I find that trying to apologize

Explain myself

Or try to find out why the person is mad at me

These things are always mistakes

Being autistic I often try to do these things

I need to try to fix things

To try to make sure the person knows I didn't intend to hurt them

To let them know I am trying my best

And I need to know what I did wrong so I can try to stop doing it

But people keep telling me I am doing something

But they can't seem to say what it is they are mad about

They will say things like you know

But I never do

I know that it is not this way for all autistic people but I know that is for some of us

So it's better not to ask what I did wrong

Try to tell them I didn't mean to hurt them

Nope.

It's better to just stay away from them

If people can't tell me what I'm doing wrong then they are just people that don't like me and I need to move on

If someone actually cares about me

And they are safe people

Then and only then should I try to do anything

As much as it hurts me

A lot of people do just hate me

And I have no idea why and they don't seem to ether

Even if they can make something up most of the time it is clear they are happy for anyone other me to do the same things

as long as it's not me

If people hate me there's not much I can do but stay away from them