Living half a life

Living half a life

A life that's full of worry and strife

But still I hold on to Little Pleasures

little hopes and dreams

Even though most have fallen away

For one reason or another

Many have been ripped asunder

I still find Little Pleasures in life

holding on to what I know one day I shall lose

Trying to do what little I can to fill in my life even with all the strife

I may never have the type of life that even I'd have wished for

And others may find me strange and even a little deranged to be okay with all the things that have passed me by

But to me though my life is hard and perhaps half lived

I tried to hold on to what I value most

For the life is a struggle

And really hard at times

I would not trade my life for yours

Or anyone's at all

Nor would I give it all away the things and people I love

And without them I would not be free I simply would not be me

As hard as that can be at times and all the things about myself that I can't seem to be able to control

Wounds upon my soul that continue to reopen

And all the hateful words that too my loved ones I have spoken

I am me and that matters

If history was a pond I doubt I'd leave ripples when I was gone

But I will struggle on

Because I have learned that I am not defined by how productive I am

Or if I have done all of the things Society thinks I should to have a good life

I don't have to be sexually attractive

And the world doesn't have to like me

It doesn't matter who I've been

What matters is who I am

So on I shell struggle to live

I must find joys in the life that I do live

I may never be the person I thought I'd be

But in the end that's not so bad

I thought that I would be busy so that I could be worth something

But having my disabilities worsen has slowed me down and made me see

That no one's worthless

not even me