She could feel her magic

She could feel the magic stir inside her

It grew deep within her soul and outwards

It's Origins ancient sparked a new each time

At times she was able to control it and others it rolls up inside her taking hold of her

As if she was merely the conduit in which the magic worked

She could try to fight it and she did at times for it made her feel wild and out of control as if some deity spoke through her Magic

If she felt that it might be in any way harmful she tried to fight it as much as she could

She was not destructive by Nature she was inclined more towards creation and sometimes even more passive Magic

Always defense never destruction

This time it felt more Wild

As if the power of nature itself was moving inside her bubbling up to the surface pouring from her very being

What form would it take this time she wondered

Would she accidentally call upon the storms as she had done before when she felt this sort of magic within her

She hadn't any spells planned

She had been ill for for a while after her last big spell of protection and compassion

She hoped that she would at least be able to control the power that was moving through her

She feared that one day this great power May destroy her

And most of the time she couldn't even decide what she wanted to do with it

often the decision was made for her by something Beyond her knowledge or comprehension

She often felt as though she was some sort of tool that they were using to do work beyond her knowledge

As if her actions were taking part in someone else's great destiny

But without her ever knowing or seeing the end results

She had power but that power had its cost

She could do small things for herself but when whoever gave her this power needed her they would simply take charge of her life and her being

At times it felt as though it was ruining her life

What is the Divine actions of her power and what is of Our Own doing is sometimes blurred While others the lines are clear to see

Sometimes her body holds so much power it was exhausting merely to live and breathe

She's supposed that sometimes the magic needed to build for several days before she was able to the conduit for it

She had to be on guard though to make sure that she didn't think herself a god

For the gods do not like hubris

And she feared that she might one day mistake her own human Frailty and cruelty for the work of the Divine

If she was frequently a conduit it was easy to be lulled into a sense that all that she did was some sort of divine Act

If there was ever any dishonest degrading or harmful things to do she knew that that could not be the divine working through her for whoever or whatever it was would know that if they had wanted that they should have chosen someone else to enact it.

There have been many times when she was unaware of what the eventual consequences of her actions would be

But they were never harmful or intentionally cruel by their very nature

Anger rage and cruelty those were all a part of her Humanity not a key component of her magic or any sort of divine power

She knew that she had to keep a firm hold of her human frailties like anger if she was to retain her power without destroying herself and others

But that didn't mean she was going to put up with people's nonsense

And people so often fear power when they see it in others

Especially those that they have no power to control

And she had more power than most of them had ever seen before

So they called her names like bitch and Monster

So she grew where are you most humans

Welcoming in the others that they have pushed out and called monsters

But most people need peace at at times she longed for it but with her power she was denied peace